My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
