$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
