It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
