I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
