its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
