some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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