So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Randomize
