im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize