her vagine was all disorganized.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
