addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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