Porn is love you can see.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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