Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
