New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
