you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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