I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think i have two assholes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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