During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize