It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
