I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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