i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
