so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
