So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
