Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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