and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
