i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
