if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
