it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
