My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
try to milk me bitch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
