Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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