i was born a porn star she said
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
