Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
