I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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