Whod you bang
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
