dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize