I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
