wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
