I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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