She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
