You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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