period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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