got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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