Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
