I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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