She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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