I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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