brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
