I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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