I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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