I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
