at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize