wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
