Me too!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
