I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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