we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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