I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
