ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
