just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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