remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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