he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
