I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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