I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
