if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
