Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
