I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
