So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
