when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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