do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
