why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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