Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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