I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
