she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
