Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
