rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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