Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
