i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
