I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
